Community Exists — Even on the Internet
I am a huge believer in the importance of community. Although I am naturally an introverted person, with the right group of people I can feel right at home. This might surprise some of my family, most of whom didn’t see me leave my bedroom except out of absolute necessity until I was well into high school. But I know I’m not alone in experiencing the joy of community.
The word “community” — a group of people united for a common purpose — is a vitally important component of the human experience. Having one unites us. It helps us to feel that we are greater than ourselves. It gives us opportunities to connect with people. It gives us the motivation to reach our goals. It helps us feel safe and secure.
I lived my senior year of high school online, and it taught me that the mediums of communications that my elders had shunned had a value greater than I could imagine. Placing all of our activities indoors rightly taught us that not everything needs to be “back to normal.” In fact, placing an increased emphasis on digital communities, in addition to being valuable on their own, could go a long way towards enhancing our other, day-to-day communications and communities.
The pandemic taught us better than to exclusively limit the community to purely physical spaces. So why must we constrain virtual spaces from the value of community?
My friends all know me as “the debate kid.” Before I took up writing in my spare time, I was a competitive debater. Although I did find moderate success, that wasn’t what was most important to me. Rather, the debate team led me to meet my first real friends. Debate is technically an academic pursuit, but it is as close to a “real world” activity as the confines of the school building will allow. While we learned about the world, we learned from each other. We had created a culture where we were allowed to mutually grow.
However, just as I finally found a community that I could call my own, I was once again stuck inside. But this time, it wasn’t a product of my own stubborn introversion. The pandemic meant that my experience of community was limited to what little social media I had. A new school year meant a new season of debate, but after several months of isolation my debate community was a mere shadow of its former self. I now held a leadership role, which I was selected for as a product of my experience and seniority, but as much as I was responsible for forming a stronger community, often that community just didn’t feel there to be formed.
Zoom calls were a solution to our issue — they allowed us to get at least the basic functions of our program done — but they did nothing to provide any aspect of a social team. Our team had built its culture around the highly valued interactions that we shared, both in passing and in dedicated social events. Over Zoom, we were limited to speaker and listener. Any semblance of conversation was impossible for more than a couple of people at a time. This phenomenon extended easily towards tournament weekends as well — when our beloved activity was confined solely to competition, it all quickly began to feel like a chore.
This was about the time that I was invited to a Discord server for a pandemic study group. On this platform, servers are collections of invite-only text- and voice-chat rooms, which our group found particularly advantageous because we could just pop in when we needed help and leave when we felt ready. We had set up our server to contain channels for socialization and work, so it quickly became not just a study group server but a friend group server as well. As a result, this quickly became an extension of Zoom for our schooling — it helped to fill the socialization void that Zoom had imposed.
Seeing how well this worked for a school in general, I decided to create a server for our debate team and invite my teammates to join. As any Slack user will know, the flexibility of an online chat environment is key to its success, and I was able to quickly adapt this server to the needs of our team, and we found great success.
Here, we were able to be ourselves around each other — but most importantly, everyone could chip in. We could pop in both when we just felt like chatting and when we wanted to hold a dedicated server event. This was an overwhelmingly positive experience. It created a rare “normal” experience that, in many ways, was superior to our traditional ones because of its flexibility. We were able to hang out, make friends, and collaborate on our work together.
Discord servers are invite-only, but some invites are easier to come by than others. When I was forced onto quarantine due to exposure to COVID-19, I joined a flurry of servers through a variety of sources, including one particular server that I value greatly.
This server was special to me because, at that time, I was going through a serious period of identity questioning. I didn’t have a space at home where I could be myself. The server had an environment that can only be described as wholesome self-expression without judgment. I’m not the person who first coined that phrase, but we all knew it was the truth. We united over shared struggle, and we formed a community that we valued greatly.
As I wrote this, I went back and reviewed the very first messages I sent. Many of the people who frequented the server when I first joined are still there to this day. Only one had left. Many more have joined that have become the “new” regulars, but at the same time, we all are in the same boat. We were all equally valued as part of the community, no matter when we joined or who was a part of it.
The owner of this server played an especially important role in this community. Naturally, the person who creates an environment gets special credit, but this owner truly went above and beyond to create a space we all felt comfortable being a part of, in spite of her personal struggles. The server adored her whenever she logged in. We all felt so at home in the stellar environment that she had created. I learned her name very quickly.
In addition to being a stellar owner, she was a person whose character was impeccable. She was so brave, and in a way, her bravery inspired me to be brave as well. She was so kind. She taught me how to improve my own servers, and how to resolve a conflict between people who have no reason to listen to you. As a result, when I was given the opportunity to be a moderator on this server, I took it in a heartbeat.
Moderation is a thankless job. Sometimes I ask myself why I can’t get off Discord and make a real difference in the world. But, I reject the notion that this activity is meaningless. For many, this server is the only safe place they have. As I was stuck at home and depressed, I was one of those people. I cut off my so-called “real” friends who dared mess with my space. But now, I am fortunate enough to give back to the same community that helped me when I was at my lowest. On this server, I am a person who can be there for someone feeling down, and it has become one of the top honors of my life.
While I’m proud to be a leader in this online community, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be here had I not experienced the support of this community in the first place, and I am forever grateful to them.
In that regard, leadership on Discord servers like these can be just like leadership in “real life” activities. Our responsibilities are real, even if not tangible. Our decisions have an impact that cannot be overstated. The environments we create provide comfort for many.
The best part about both of the communities I mentioned was that they are completely decentralized. Our debate server was not an officially sanctioned activity, and the public one I joined was a product of spontaneity and unprompted, but the joy was found nevertheless. Our communities of people with shared interests and struggles found each other, in spite of the lack of a physical meeting place, and I believe that it ought to continue to happen as we recover from our pandemic.
Discord is, by no means, the only online community out there, but that is what makes the search for community online so unique. You can go on Reddit and find subreddits, both broad and niche, for interests from the very serious to the very silly. YouTube content creators are known for creating a platform user can learn from both the content and from each other. Other, more personal platforms like Instagram and Facebook are great for fostering more direct connections with people you know or find.
While Discord might be my platform of choice, it doesn’t have to be yours. The fundamentals are the same — relationships online are possible and meaningful. I don’t mean to imply that in-person and virtual relationships are equivalent, but while the relationships built online may not be tangible, they are real and worth valuing.
- Grey Alexander Crawford
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